My Millennial Failures (and why I’m TOTALLY okay with them)

In high school, I was pretty cool. I was up on trends, artists, et cetera. Flash forward six years, and I am so out of it, you would think I never kept up with it. (Does that make any sense?) Anyways, it is called to my attention daily just how out of it I really am by some coworkers who happen to be just a bit too trendy/millennial/current whatever you want to call it. They can’t understand me for the life of them, and I can’t make sense out of half the stuff they say. So here are a few ways that I’m a millennial failure (and TOTALLY okay with it):

1. I’m not big on partying. My ideal Saturday involves mass amounts of reading and writing. I don’t go out and get wasted with my closest fifty friends every weekend. I honestly don’t consider myself as having fifty friends. I have a lot of people who like me, but as far as friends go, I only count people who really care about me and actually KNOW things about me. And I only drink and get a bit crazy when I’m with people that I consider close. I’m just not interested in having drunk dudes at bars hit on me. Sorry other millennials.

2. I don’t listen to hip-hop/rap/current pop music. Unless it’s on a movie sound track. I don’t know any of the artists or own any music like that. I don’t watch the Grammys, because I don’t care about any of the nominated artists. As far as music goes, I like what I like and don’t keep up with what’s popular. It means I listen to a lot of Tom Petty, Queen and the Postal Service.

3. I’ve never been on Tinder and hope I never will. Much like my dislike for being hit on by drunk guys in bars, I also dislike being harassed over an app. They should just advertise it: We bring all the harassment of bars to your phone! I’ve had enough friends on there with crazy weirdos messaging them every day, that so help me God, if I ever get a Tinder, people should know I have a brain tumor.

4. I like to be alone. I’ve written articles to this effect before, on Sociology of Style, but I will reiterate that I think my generation is woefully out of touch with themselves and their own feelings. Millennials who are actively everything I’m not tend to NEED to constantly spend time with others and never be alone.

5. I don’t get into causes for causes’ sake. I think a lot of millennials take on social causes, and claim to know what their talking about, with NO research. One of their friends told them that they should care about Bill X29 going through in two weeks because it affects women. That’s all they know, and they’re out signing petitions and raging on Facebook. So then, I’ll ask them, what is the petition specifically about. What female issues will it affect? This matters to me. And you know what: THEY NEVER KNOW! “I don’t know, but my roommate is really upset about it.” And sometimes I feel like I’m the only millennial asking the deeper questions. (At least near me, I know other sane millennials must be out there!)

Anyway, if you’re a generational failure like me, it’s okay! Celebrate your differentness and find some friends who are as weirdly awesome as you. You can all go be alone and not party together!

I’ll leave you with scary Millennial statistics. Check it:

Screen Shot 2015-02-16 at 12.15.52 PM

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2 thoughts on “My Millennial Failures (and why I’m TOTALLY okay with them)”

  1. I think you and I are the same person. I laugh with the older people at work all the time. I tell them I’m secretly 80 because loud rap music in crowded places dosen’t sound fun to me at all. Can’t I just spend the night in sweatpants with a good book? Maybe some friends can come over and play Mario Kart? You and I can fail and being millennials together ^_^

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