Tag Archives: nerd

My Millennial Failures (and why I’m TOTALLY okay with them)

In high school, I was pretty cool. I was up on trends, artists, et cetera. Flash forward six years, and I am so out of it, you would think I never kept up with it. (Does that make any sense?) Anyways, it is called to my attention daily just how out of it I really am by some coworkers who happen to be just a bit too trendy/millennial/current whatever you want to call it. They can’t understand me for the life of them, and I can’t make sense out of half the stuff they say. So here are a few ways that I’m a millennial failure (and TOTALLY okay with it):

1. I’m not big on partying. My ideal Saturday involves mass amounts of reading and writing. I don’t go out and get wasted with my closest fifty friends every weekend. I honestly don’t consider myself as having fifty friends. I have a lot of people who like me, but as far as friends go, I only count people who really care about me and actually KNOW things about me. And I only drink and get a bit crazy when I’m with people that I consider close. I’m just not interested in having drunk dudes at bars hit on me. Sorry other millennials.

2. I don’t listen to hip-hop/rap/current pop music. Unless it’s on a movie sound track. I don’t know any of the artists or own any music like that. I don’t watch the Grammys, because I don’t care about any of the nominated artists. As far as music goes, I like what I like and don’t keep up with what’s popular. It means I listen to a lot of Tom Petty, Queen and the Postal Service.

3. I’ve never been on Tinder and hope I never will. Much like my dislike for being hit on by drunk guys in bars, I also dislike being harassed over an app. They should just advertise it: We bring all the harassment of bars to your phone! I’ve had enough friends on there with crazy weirdos messaging them every day, that so help me God, if I ever get a Tinder, people should know I have a brain tumor.

4. I like to be alone. I’ve written articles to this effect before, on Sociology of Style, but I will reiterate that I think my generation is woefully out of touch with themselves and their own feelings. Millennials who are actively everything I’m not tend to NEED to constantly spend time with others and never be alone.

5. I don’t get into causes for causes’ sake. I think a lot of millennials take on social causes, and claim to know what their talking about, with NO research. One of their friends told them that they should care about Bill X29 going through in two weeks because it affects women. That’s all they know, and they’re out signing petitions and raging on Facebook. So then, I’ll ask them, what is the petition specifically about. What female issues will it affect? This matters to me. And you know what: THEY NEVER KNOW! “I don’t know, but my roommate is really upset about it.” And sometimes I feel like I’m the only millennial asking the deeper questions. (At least near me, I know other sane millennials must be out there!)

Anyway, if you’re a generational failure like me, it’s okay! Celebrate your differentness and find some friends who are as weirdly awesome as you. You can all go be alone and not party together!

I’ll leave you with scary Millennial statistics. Check it:

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How to Become a Superhero

Raj: “You’re so arrogant! If you were a superhero, your name would be Captain Arrogant. And you know what your superpower would be? Arrogance.”

Sheldon: “You’re wrong again. If my superpower were arrogance, my name would be Dr. Arroganto.” – The Big Bang Theory

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Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy a monstrous success. The Thor franchise and Batman franchise are doing as well as ever. And with the immediate success of Gotham, the superhero must be feeling pretty good about himself these days. With the superhero owning popular culture and with Halloween around the corner, it got me wondering: what makes a superhero a superhero?

There are many traits that define the majority of superheroes. Whether from another planet or formerly regular humans, superheroes generally have a tragic past. Filled with accident and incident, superheroes suffer from all kinds of complexes due to death and tragedy in their youth. Spiderman, for instance, realizes his responsibility after the death of his Uncle Ben. The phrase “with great power comes great responsibility” was then coined and has now become just as famous as Spiderman himself. This is another important superhero feature: the moral code. Superheroes fixate on their moral code and often constantly focus on saving their city over saving themselves.

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All superheroes of course have some form of powers through massive amounts of money and technology (Ironman, Batman), a scientific accident (Fantastic Four, Spiderman, Catwoman), or alien powers from another species (Superman, Green Lantern, Thor). These powers usually capture the attention of the damsel in distress, winning the superhero a girlfriend. This girlfriend sometimes isn’t aware of who the superhero really is. This is because the superhero has a secret identity. Bruce Wayne, the rich magnate of Wayne Manor, becomes Batman, the Dark Knight and vigilante hero of Gotham City.

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So how do superheroes keep their secret identities?

The Costume

Let me first say that not all costumes are meant to protect the superhero’s identity. A few superheroes don’t bother to keep their identities a secret. However, most superheroes employ secret identities to keep themselves, their friends, and families safe from the villains or, in Spiderman’s case, the police.

Almost all superheroes have spandex outfits. This is supposedly for maximum freedom of movement. They need to run, climb, and jump however is necessary. Female superheroes such as Catwoman and Wonder Woman have costumes that are very sexy and leave little to the imagination. Male superheroes tend to have costumes that show off their bulging muscles.

 
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Superheroes are all supposed to be sexy. Yet, how is underwear over your pants sexy? For a long time, no one seemed to know the answer, only that Superman and Batman had always been that way. This part of the superhero world has been widely mocked for years. My personal favorite example of this is the 1990s cartoon Doug, where the titular character dresses as Quailman, tighty-whities over cargo shorts and all. Recently, the Huffington Post suggested that early color printing techniques of the 1930s and 1940s offered a blurriness problem that often resulted in the characters’ figures being unclear. If Superman did not have red to distinguish from the blue, he may have appeared to have nothing there. Any black definition in that area would have likely been deemed offensive at that time. Today, as printing technology has become much better, some comics have moved away from the look. However, some traditions die hard when it comes to the fans. 

As Halloween approaches, the streets will run rampant with fans-turned-superheroes. Let’s discuss the average human’s superhero costume options that aren’t made from some kind of Kryptonian fabric.

  1.     The Lazy Superhero Costume

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Thinkgeek, a wonderful website for the nerd in all of us, has devised Halloween costumes for the laziest superhero-loving men and women out there, who perhaps like Halloween and like to dress up, but don’t have any particular time or money for an elaborate costume. Throw on this caped tank top or a sweatshirt: voila, instant superhero!

  1.     The Handmade Superhero Costume

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Oh, the handmade costume. This can range widely from Comic-Con sewing masters who spend months handcrafting amazing costumes or as a t-shirt with a cut-out batman symbol sewn to it and a mask made from a paper plate. More labor intensive and less appreciated than other costume options, the handmade costume is the unsung hero. This photo from Raising Hope is of Jimmy, who dresses as a homemade, last-minute Batman to impress the girl of his dreams, who dressed as Robin. (Women often gender-bend to play their favorite superheroes on TV and film. Men dressing as female superheroes is less common, but not unheard of.) Sabrina’s boyfriend Wyatt showed up in a different take on Batman. He went with the “Expensive but still Cheaply Made Costume.”

  1.     The Expensive, But Still Cheaply Made, Costume

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Everyone at one point or another has stood in a costume shop and ogled the insane price of a simple, polyester costume.  Some costume shop costumes can be more elaborate, seen above, with fake pectorals and all. But for one night, I never seem to think spending too much is worth it. That’s probably why I usually laze out and just buy some cat ears, put on a red dress, and call myself Hello Kitty.

This Halloween, celebrate the strangle-hold superheroes have on pop culture. Take any route you choose to be your favorite superhero! Just please, no tighty-whities over your pants. Unless you’re going as Quailman, that is.